AUTONOMY: SOMETHING TO PONDER
Several weeks ago, I discussed the core concept of appreciation found in Beyond Reason by Roger Fischer and Daniel Shapiro. Another core concept is “Respect Autonomy: Expand Yours And Don’t Impinge Upon Theirs.” (Id. at p. 72-93).
Everyone desires the freedom to decide for themselves. No one likes to have a decision shoved down her throat. (Perhaps this is why mediation works so well: it is voluntary and self-determinative). This is what the core concept of Autonomy is all about: affecting the ability to make decisions.
The first aspect of this core concept involves our own power “to affect change or to influence others”. (Id at 74). Many times we feel that we lack the necessary authority to make a decision. In truth, this very thinking is what is limiting our autonomy. If we “feel” powerless, then, we, indeed, are powerless. In actuality, there is power “in not having authority.” One can still affect the decision making process simply by making recommendations, suggesting options or just brainstorming. At times, it may be easier to negotiate and reach a resolution by not having the authority: it provides a freedom that you otherwise would not have. By not having the power to make decisions, you are no longer constrained in what you say: you are free to generate options without fear of being obligated to follow through on them.
The second aspect of this core concept is just as important: do not impinge upon someone else’s autonomy. By excluding others from the decision making process or making the decision for them, we cause nothing but anger, hostility and resentment. Unilateral decisions have an emotional impact on others that we often fail to consider or realize. For example, others will be much more willing to attend a meeting if you consult with them about its date, time and place rather than dictating to them when it will be held. Consequently, whenever feasible, consult and invite input from others before making decisions. Keep them informed as the decision making process moves along. By doing so, you can tailor the end result to satisfy the various interests at stake. More importantly, having been consulted about and having participated in the decision making process, others will feel invested in the end result and react positively to it. Rather than being angry, hostile and resentful, they will be the strongest advocates for its adoption and implementation.
So. . . by respecting autonomy – both our own and that of others, we can move a long way toward resolving any dispute.
. . . Just something to think about.
