BIASES: SOMETHING TO PONDER
In my last blog, I discussed a mediation class I attended by Nina Meierding, Director of the Mediation Center For Family Law in Ventura, CA. One of the first things she mentioned was “bias”, not as a “good” or a “bad” thing but simply as an understanding of ourselves. Ms. Meierding explained that we, each, carry four different types of “biases” with us. The first is about each of us: Our own underlying, subconscious or even unconscious assumptions that we make about others. When we meet someone, within seconds, we “assume” certain things about her. For example, we may meet someone who is 6’8” and assume that because he/she is so tall, he/she may have played basketball in high school or college. Our “assumption” may or may not be correct.
The second type of bias are those “assumptions” that others may perceive we have – even if untrue. Again, upon meeting a new person, that person will make assumptions about the assumptions she thinks we are making about her. To take our example, that really tall person we just met, may “assume’ that we are assuming he/she plays or played basketball because of his/her height. Again, that assumption may be right or wrong.
The third type are our own “biases” that we bring with us to any mediation. These “biases” may involve cultural, religion, age, experience, knowledge, skill or other concerns. For example, a party may prefer a female rather than a male mediator or a mediator knowledgeable in a particular area such as real estate or construction defects. Thus, if confronted with a male mediator who know nothing about real estate, the party will, in all probability, be “biased” against the mediator before he even says hello and introduces himself.
The last “bias” is based upon our assumption of what biases we perceive or assume the others bring with them to the mediation. For example, we may learn that the other person was born in a rural area of the Deep South in the United States. Thus, we might assume that the other has a bias against “Yankees” (i.e. those born or living above the Mason-Dixon Line) and big cities. Again, our “assumptions” may be very wrong. . . .
So . . . when you walk into a mediation, be aware of the assumptions or biases that you bring with you: Do not let them derail you from reaching a resolution of your dispute.
. . . Just something to think about
