mediation

30 08, 2019

Framing, Process and Empathy: How important they really are!

By |2019-08-19T17:27:58-07:00August 30th, 2019|Actual Mediations|0 Comments

Several weeks ago, I posted a blog about a book I recently read, Negotiating the Impossible by Deepak Malhotra (Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., Oakland, Ca. 2016). In it, the author notes that three things are paramount to resolving the most intractable disputes: Framing, Process and Empathy. By “framing”, the author means presenting a proposal objectively so [...]

12 07, 2019

Civility Precedes Empathy!

By |2019-07-08T10:58:48-07:00July 12th, 2019|Conflict resolution|0 Comments

There can be no empathy where there is no civility. I was at a conference  recently during which one the presenters made this statement. It struck me as I had never thought about these concepts as being connected. But, indeed, they are. “Civility” is defined as “…the act of showing regard for others by being [...]

28 06, 2019

May I Talk to the Other Party ?

By |2019-06-28T10:02:06-07:00June 28th, 2019|Actual Mediations|0 Comments

I have said this before and will say it again: talking to the other party does wonders. After mediating more than 2,000 cases, I am still at a loss to understand why parties in litigation are afraid to sit down with each other and discuss the issues directly. ( I know the lawyers do not [...]

31 05, 2019

Mediating My Own Disputes

By |2019-05-07T16:02:43-07:00May 31st, 2019|Odd stuff|0 Comments

There is  an adage that a person who is her own lawyer, has a fool for a client, meaning that representing yourself is a foolish. Why? You lose perspective,  objectivity and perhaps even credibility. Based on a recent event, it seems that this adage applies to mediators as well: one who mediates her own dispute, [...]

26 04, 2019

Should “Hostility” Be in my Toolbox?

By |2019-04-10T16:11:03-07:00April 26th, 2019|News articles|0 Comments

The Cambridge online dictionary defines “mediator” as “…a  person who tries to end a disagreement by helping the two sides to talk about and agree on a solution.” Implied in this is that the mediator will be kind, helpful, friendly, respectful, and any other positive trait necessary to build trust and a relationship with the parties. The adage that “you catch more [...]

12 04, 2019

A New Tool in my Toolbox!

By |2019-03-28T10:57:36-07:00April 12th, 2019|News articles|0 Comments

The  other day I stumbled upon a tweet mentioning a “velvet hammer”. Wondering what it was, I googled the reference and came upon an article discussing its meaning and use; Why the ‘velvet hammer’ is a better way to give constructive criticism by Stephanie Vozza. Taking issue with the what she calls the “sandwich method” [...]