It is funny how sometimes the stars align to suddenly highlight an issue that was nowhere in my conscious brain before then. Last night, I received an emergency e mail asking if I could help a fellow professor with her class tonight. I looked at my schedule and found I was able to do so [...]
Several weeks ago, I posted a blog about a book I recently read, Negotiating the Impossible by Deepak Malhotra (Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., Oakland, Ca. 2016). In it, the author notes that three things are paramount to resolving the most intractable disputes: Framing, Process and Empathy. By “framing”, the author means presenting a proposal objectively so [...]
There can be no empathy where there is no civility. I was at a conference recently during which one the presenters made this statement. It struck me as I had never thought about these concepts as being connected. But, indeed, they are. “Civility” is defined as “…the act of showing regard for others by being [...]
I have said this before and will say it again: talking to the other party does wonders. After mediating more than 2,000 cases, I am still at a loss to understand why parties in litigation are afraid to sit down with each other and discuss the issues directly. ( I know the lawyers do not [...]
I read an article in the New York Times the other day entitled, “Let Go of Your Grudges. They’re Doing You No Good” by Tim Herrera ( May 19, 2019), and it struck me that many lawsuits are nothing more than unforgiven grudges. The article starts with the question: “What is your oldest or most [...]
There is an adage that a person who is her own lawyer, has a fool for a client, meaning that representing yourself is a foolish. Why? You lose perspective, objectivity and perhaps even credibility. Based on a recent event, it seems that this adage applies to mediators as well: one who mediates her own dispute, [...]
The Cambridge online dictionary defines “mediator” as “…a person who tries to end a disagreement by helping the two sides to talk about and agree on a solution.” Implied in this is that the mediator will be kind, helpful, friendly, respectful, and any other positive trait necessary to build trust and a relationship with the parties. The adage that “you catch more [...]
The other day I stumbled upon a tweet mentioning a “velvet hammer”. Wondering what it was, I googled the reference and came upon an article discussing its meaning and use; Why the ‘velvet hammer’ is a better way to give constructive criticism by Stephanie Vozza. Taking issue with the what she calls the “sandwich method” [...]