My husband and I were having dinner the other night at our club when our server approached our table and asked us if we “minded” giving her our membership number. Kiddingly, I said I minded but did give her the membership number. However, this prompted a comment from her that [Read More]
In recent blogs, I have discussed the importance of trust, rapport and reciprocity in resolving disputes. Something happened recently that highlights the importance of trust and rapport. Surprisingly, it has to do with one of my dogs- Buddy. Buddy is a rescue which we adopted when he was six years [Read More]
One adage that I learned early on in my career is that disputes usually arise due either to a lack of communication or to a miscommunication. My own personal experience provides yet another example. I have two English Springer Spaniels: Buddy and Cookie. Buddy is an aggressive male while Cookie [Read More]
I have said this before and will say it again: talking to the other party does wonders. After mediating more than 2,000 cases, I am still at a loss to understand why parties in litigation are afraid to sit down with each other and discuss the issues directly. ( I [Read More]
In recent years, much has been made of the fact that we are living in the digital age: we are tethered to our smartphones, iPad, laptops and other devices and are heavily dependent on them. Much like Pavlov’s dogs, whenever our smartphone beeps, vibrates, rings et cetera, we check it [Read More]
As a mediator, I have learned to choose my words carefully. The way I phrase something will make all the difference in the world between gaining someone’s trust and angering them. The importance of wording is brought home by Kenneth Cloke in his book, The Dance of Opposites (Goodmedia Press, 2013). [Read More]
Once again, the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School published an interesting article. This time it is about the "rules" that the New York City Police Hostage Negotiators live by to defuse the very stressful crises with which they deal almost daily. What strikes me about the "rules" is [Read More]
Recently, I conducted a mediation during which the matter did not settle. However, after the mediation session was over, the parties continued to negotiate- trading monetary demands and offers back and forth. It was a credit reporting case in which plaintiff alleged and defendant denied that an alleged credit transaction [Read More]
