The Words We Use

As a mediator, I have learned to choose my words carefully. The way I phrase something will make all the difference in the world between gaining someone’s trust and angering them. The importance of wording is brought home by Kenneth Cloke in his book, The Dance of Opposites (Goodmedia Press, 2013). [Read More]

Setting Your Own Course in Mediation

Recently, I conducted a mediation during which the matter did not settle. However, after the mediation session was over, the parties continued to negotiate- trading monetary demands and offers back and forth. It was a credit reporting case in which plaintiff alleged and defendant denied that an alleged credit transaction [Read More]

By |June 21st, 2013|Mediations|

Its All In The Delivery

One of the major tools in a mediator's toolbox is "persuasion." Either through training, experience and/or intuition, a mediator learns tactics that can be used to "persuade" a party to compromise and settle a dispute. My friend and colleague, Maria Simpson Ph.D., defines "persuasion" as ". . .helping people agree [Read More]


If you have ever mediated a case with me (and most of you have not), you know that I crack jokes, especially in the opening joint session. There is a method to my madness; to take the tension out of the situation and try to put the parties at ease. [Read More]

By |April 13th, 2012|Research|

Those Pesky Little Words

In her Two Minute Training Tip for November 1, 2011, my colleague, Maria Simpson, Ph.D. looks at the words we use when we communicate. She points out that to be an effective negotiator - one must be careful of the pronouns she uses. "You" in any form - "you", "your" [Read More]

By |December 2nd, 2011|Negotiation Strategy|