As a mediator, I have learned to choose my words carefully. The way I phrase something will make all the difference in the world between gaining someone’s trust and angering them. The importance of wording is brought home by Kenneth Cloke in his book, The Dance of Opposites (Goodmedia Press, 2013). [Read More]
In his recently published book, Getting To Yes with Yourself (HarperCollins, 2015), William Ury explains a simple idea that may be difficult to implement; to get to Yes with others, we must first get to Yes with ourselves. Simply put; we are our own worst enemy and our own biggest obstacle [Read More]
At a certain point in almost every negotiation and every mediation, the parties get stuck; they hit impasse or a bump in the road. Recently, I attended a training with Professor Carrie Menkel- Meadow. In one of her handouts, she discussed ways to creatively solve the issues. They include: 1. [Read More]
( John Nash died on May 23, 2015 in an automobile accident. He was a mathematician who won the Nobel Prize for his Nash equilibrium. While, initially, one may think that such a theory has nothing to do with resolving disputes, to the contrary, it has everything to do with negotiation and [Read More]
I have mediated over 1400 matters. Thus, I have seen parties approach negotiation in a myriad of ways; some appear to be “winging it” while others appear to have some sort of strategy in mind. The common thread appears to be “self-interest” or how can each party get the best deal [Read More]
A colleague (Esther Bleuel) recently shared a quote by Benjamin Franklin: “Failing to Prepare is Preparing to Fail.” Recently, the Los Angeles Daily Journal published an article by Larry Mills entitled, How Counsel can make or break a settlement. (April 3, 2015- page 2 of Verdicts and Settlements). In essence, [Read More]
When parties are having a dispute, no doubt, they probably think in individualistic terms; that is; me against her, or one vs. one. In reality, most disputes usually involve more than one person on each side, be it partners in a business, partners in a marriage or other domestic relationship, [Read More]
Have you ever attempted to calm down an emotional person? Our natural inclination is to deny the emotional content of what the speaker is saying by using logic and/or facts such as, "There is no reason to get upset", "Calm down", "You are over-reacting", "You have misunderstood", "Maybe it is [Read More]
